Tag Archives: family

“FINLAND IS PROBABLY THE ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD WHERE BEING A GEEK IS COOL”

Originally published in Finland My Home, a project highlighting the life histories of immigrants to Finland.

LUIS

I’m originally from Mexico City and I always knew I wanted to go abroad. I started learning English when I was in kindergarten. My generation in Mexico is the first generation who were actively taught English.

Mexico is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world and even if we have the Americans next door we haven’t actually liked them much. Until the 1980s Mexicans were very worried about the Americans; there wasn’t much of a relationship and we just tried to get along with our neighbour. Finland and Mexico both have big, potentially difficult neighbours. Finland has managed to handle its very well. Mexico was rapidly industrialising and the natural market was the US. Then in the 1990s, after NAFTA, kids would actively learn English if their family had the means.

I was not really interested in going to the US, so I started to think about Europe. I sent some applications to German universities. They have programmes in English as well – very good ones. I was going for IT or Mathematics, then a family friend of ours who was Finnish, suggested Finland. With the support of my family I first arrived here in 2000.


Luis: “I went from a little bit pampered middle-class kid to ‘mamu’”


It was the dawn of the Internet age then. I was ‘googling’ a little bit – I mean Nokia, Linux, IRC, this was in 1999. I thought Finland made sense. I didn’t know it at that time, but Finland is probably the only place in the world where being a geek is cool. Back then the polytechnics had something in English so I thought I wouldn’t have to learn Finnish right away; I could just go and start studying in English and get going.

My dream was to go to Finland and work for Nokia and already in my first summer I got a traineeship with Nokia. It was pure gold dust. In those days they couldn’t get good people fast enough, the business was growing like foam. For me to graduate I needed to have some hours of relevant work experience and so after the summer I took their offer to continue; eventually I ended up working for Nokia 11 years. During the last couple of years it meant studying and working at the same time. I was basically either at the university or the office. I wanted to get my career and to graduate well. Back then I had the stamina and drive to do that. I felt like a pioneer because there were so few foreigners in Finland; people didn’t use to come here.

It was funny, in Mexico I was middle class and then I came here and lived in a student flat in Kontula. It was not really middle class, and not only that, but people looked at you like you were beneath them – especially because I look a bit different. So I went from a little bit pampered middle-class kid to ‘mamu’. I mean, you know you are screwed when even other marginalised foreigners look at you weirdly.

There was one time we were in Oittaa with a Hispanic friend from Venezuela. We were doing 20 km and talking in Spanish about family and work and other stuff – in the middle of the forest, where you probably shouldn’t have two people being so loud. I remember the guys coming towards us looking at us, and then even the Somali skiers were looking at us funny. I don’t have too much of an accent in Finnish anymore and nowadays people would look at me funny because I sound a bit more local but don’t look local.


Luis: “Nowadays people would look at me funny because I sound a bit more local, but don’t look local”


Back in the day there were not that many foreigners around and people kept on asking, “Why are you here?” Well because I wanna be here. I don’t find it offensive anymore, but sometimes I don’t feel like telling my life story to strangers. So when people ask me, “Mistä sä oot kotosin? I would reply “Täältä” – from here – to get them to shut up. I mean, this is a bit of bullshit on my part, but logically at this point my body has renewed its cells in such a way that all my cells are now of Finnish produce. After all, I became an adult here and I’ve lived most of my adult life here. It’s home.

I met my wife at the university, almost immediately after I came – it was really weird. We took it really slowly before deciding to be together. That was the other thing, I was raised to be a gentleman and I felt quite uncomfortable with the straightforward approach here. A couple of times I even felt harassed by Finnish girls. It was like, “Yeah, you are hot, but I’m not interested.” My friends always thought I was being strange.

In 2006 I took one year to go to Belgium to study. I was tired of Finland; it weighs heavily on you. I had not seen that much of Europe by that time and I went to study business. At that point my career at Nokia had gone from slightly technical to not technical at all. I ended up going from digital products to sales. I was in Brussels and it was amazing, it’s the best-kept secret of Europe. It’s a lot of fun. Their sense of humour is very absurd, they laugh at absurdity. After that year I wanted to stay in Belgium, but there was nothing to fit me there. I would’ve needed to know French and Dutch. I learned both, but not on a level that was enough. I had a job waiting at Nokia anyway, so I thought I would just go back to Finland.


Luis: “I left Nokia in 2012; it was basically that the last one turns off the lights”


I had already proposed to my girlfriend and I came back from Belgium to get married and start a life together. The important thing for us is that we can have civil discussion, not drama or silence. It does not always work and you might be handling some level of stress or you had a bad day with the kids or a bad day at work. We know how to apologise and we know the lines not to cross. Now we have two kids together, they are 6 and 4, it’s awesome. The thing with multicultural couples is that if you don’t know how you want to raise your kids before you get them then you are in for a surprise. You have to share as equally as possible the workload of house and kids and stuff, if you don’t it easily goes downhill. This is something I see with Finnish couples. Through my wife’s family, I have got a lot of insight. They are great and I love them.

I left Nokia in 2012; it was basically that the last one turns off the lights. It was just before the Microsoft sale, and they gave me a package because I had been there for so long. After Nokia the Finnish economy was a black hole. I was a little surprised at how difficult it was to find a position in circles outside of my own, especially with a foreign background, but thankfully things worked out. Since I couldn’t really find something I liked, and we wanted to go on the next adventure, I took a job offer in Dubai and lived there almost 4 years with my family. Eventually that ran its course and it was time to return, so I told an old colleague to let me know if he heard of anything that would fit my profile. He said he knew some guys and so I contacted them. I had heard that they were just starting up, but they were cool and serious about what they were doing. After I came back I took two weeks off and I had a new job.

I think one of the harder things for me is that in Finland you are not supposed to have ambition, you are supposed to know your place. And you can’t think that you are better than anybody else. It’s not that I think I’m better than anyone else, but I will give things a try. For a long time at Nokia I was the youngest person in the team but I wanted to work, learn and develop professionally. I think it has changed a bit now, but I think there is still a little bit of a glass ceiling if you don’t speak Finnish. Everyone knows that Finland has a lot going for it, but we need to work to keep it. I also think that Finns need to learn to express their happiness. You don’t always know when a Finn is happy. It’s like “Okay man, you can let go. You can say if you need a hug.”


Interview by Peter Seenan recorded in Helsinki, Finland in 2017. If you wish to support our work in projecting the voices and achievements of immigrants in Finland please like our Facebook page and share Luis’s story. 

Family in Finland

As much as I might sometimes encounter barriers here, I don't want to give a lopsided view about my experience in Finland.  I am very aware that nowhere is perfect and neither am I, and furthermore, I really enjoy my work, have very good friends, and I'm even part of a family here.

That's truly what this post is about, because, as my family back in Mexico would say, I truly landed in a soft sport when I came here, met my wife and after some time was pretty much adopted into her family.  I cannot be grateful enough for that, since through them, my friends and of course my wife I came to know, love and integrate here in Finland.  With them I've shared my successes and they celebrate them as much as my blood family does.  They have even asked me to enter their family records which of course is an honour.

This is probably what makes it a little confusing, because for those that know me I am "one of them" but certain sectors of the general public tend to see me with suspicion.  I'm not going to change that, so I should stop caring and move on.  😉

Blogueros Mexicanos y debraye sobre la lectura

Entre otras cosas que hice en París (además de encontrarme con mi papá y visitar la región de Champaña), tuve la oportunidad de conocer a dos blogueros que tienen un sitio permanente en mi Bloglines: Ceronne y Chilango en Madrid.

En la muy amena conversación, que por desgracia duró poco dado que Chilango en Madrid andaba con unos amigos y yo tenía que tomar mi tren de regreso, entre otras cosas hubo un momento en que uno de ellos me preguntó cómo era que sabía sobre ciertas cosas.  La verdad es que para mí ha sido siempre normal leer mucho, de lo que caiga, y no se me olvidan tanto los detalles más importantes.

Recuerdo que desde que aprendí a leer a los 4 años, me ha sido imposible soltar los libros.  Ya sean de historia,  economía, astronomía, negocios, ciencia ficción (mucha ciencia ficción), religión, matemáticas, política, o incluso revistas de medicina o biología en general las devoraba (y las sigo devorando) con hambre de más.  No por eso una de las cosas más difíciles para dejar en mi última mudanza fueron mis libros y una de las primeras cosas que he empezado a mandar poquito a poco antes de mi regreso son mis nuevos libros, jajajaja.

Lo bonito del asunto es que entre más se da cuenta que tiene uno idea de algo es que notas que te falta mucho más por aprender.  Siempre alguien te puede enseñar algo que no sabías, así que es mejor llegar con humildad.

Justo por eso es que escribí hace algunos meses esa Oda a la curiosidad, porque creo que lo más importante no es saber, sino tener ganas de aprender.  Por eso siempre me ha gustado tanto conocer a gente que tiene intereses distintos a los míos y también se acerca con una actitud de aprendizaje, porque esa polinización es la que crea las nuevas ideas (grandes y pequeñas).  Por eso mismo es que me hubiera gustado conocer a un miembro de la familia de mi mujer que ya no está en esta realidad, porque solamente viendo su biblioteca me doy cuenta que hubiéramos hecho muy buenas migas.  Por eso mismo me frustra tanto la gente que me dice que quiere aprender pero que no le gusta leer, siendo que en esta época de Google y Wikipedia es tan sencillo encontrar la información que a uno le interesa (personalmente, puedo pasarme horas leyendo artículos de Wikipedia, especialmente los relacionados con lingüística, aunque bien sabemos que nos es perfecta y tiene muchos errores).

Así pues, a menos que pase algún imprevisto de esos que no se desean, no va a haber cambios en el futuro cercano a que mi novia/prometida/amor de mi vida siga llamándome su trivia ambulante.  Aunque ya sé que la cita tiene más de leyenda que de realidad, yo sólo sé que no sé nada.

Family

Family means different things to different people.  To some, it is only their parents and siblings.  To others, it might mean several generations of people including aunts, uncles and cousins relatively removed from them.

That is the case in Mexico.  Even though I don’t meet them very often, on my dad’s side I know around a hundred people who fall into the category of “family”, even though I don’t always remember how exactly am I related to them.  On my mom’s side it’s easier, and I probably know less than fifty.

In family reunions, since I never knew who was who, I usually called people around my age “cousins” and adults “uncles” and “aunts”.  Even though there were some exceptions to the rule, it did work.

All this because I was chatting on MSN about the family with a cousin who is the granddaugher of a cousin of my grandmother on my father’s side.  And yes, she’s still family, and we still know about each other, even though she lives in a part of Mexico I seldom visit.

These days, keeping in touch is not so hard

I was reading Batz's Journal, where she comments her views on leaving Barcelona after being there two years, and going away from those friendships she has formed during her time there.

I started thinking that in fact these days it's not so difficult to keep in touch with those you care about.  With e-mail, messenger, skype, blogging and of course text messaging and voice telephony you can still keep in touch.  These days video conferencing is not so difficult either, as many chatting programs have integrated it.

Around a year ago, I was in a very particular situation.  My parents were living in Brazil, my sister in Mexico, my fiancée in Japan and I was in Finland, so there was a minimum of 8,000 km between one member of the family and the next.  Keeping in mind the time differences, these utilities were a godsend, and now that I'm in Belgium I use them to keep in touch, as my friends and family are scattered all over the place.

This is much better than the situation in the Middle Ages, or even 30 years ago.  In that sense I'm glad I was born at a time when this is possible.

Never tell me the odds

I just heard about a very good friend of ours that separated from her husband (my best wishes to both of them).  As asiduous readers of this blog might know, I'm getting married as well in a couple of months, and hearing that news coupled with my preparatory discussions where I learned the divorce rates in Europe (1 out of 2 separate) and comparing it to my family history, where there have also been a couple of divorces, I couldn't help but get slightly worried.

Then I remembered who is it that I'm getting married with, who am I, and what have we been through in the past seven years.  We bridged the chasm between cultures, languages and temperaments, we learned from each other and we went through the experience of living in different countries from each other for a total of around a year and a half.  And guess what?  We're still here.  It hasn't been easy, but we still believe.

There are of course many challenges coming in the future: work, family life, and the like, but as one famous Corellian once said: "Never tell me the odds!".

Attached to people, not places

My fiancée commented once that I was probably more “international” than she was (if there is such a thing) even though she has lived in 3 other countries besides her own, and in my case it’s one less. I wouldn’t mind moving from country to country that much, as long as the job is interesting, the pay and the quality of life are good and we are together (which of course entails her filling her requirements list as well). However, she referred to a valid point: I’m not attached to the places themselves anymore, but to the people in them. A place is just nature, buildings and maybe a nice view or two, but the people I know (and the people I love) are really what is important.

One example are my feelings to the place where I was born. Even though I consider myself to be healthily nationalistic I don’t have an urge to go back and settle there, but just to see my family and friends. The same is the case with Finland. I’m very grateful for my experiences there, but it’s a place as good as any, what is important are the friends and family there. Belgium is the same story: if it fills the criteria detailed in the first paragraph I’d stay after my studies are finished, otherwise I’m willing to search for something somewhere else.

The problem with freedom, as a friend says is that “you don’t know what to do with it”. I hope that’s not my case.